My first attempt at NaNoWriMo was a bust, although a few good things came out of it. I did find a couple of quiet places that I like to sit and write...and I found that I can force myself to write a little bit even when I'm completely stressed out. The family medical situation is still lingering, three divorces are underway among our circle of friends, my new job is still a source of confusion to me as I try to figure out all of my new responsibilities and hand off my old ones. But at least I'm not working on our dossier any more.
It was Christmas last year when we had to admit we were beaten, and that we were going to have to set aside the (failed) notion of getting pregnant in order to treat my ever-worsening menstrual cramps. After years of TTC it was a relief to throw myself into the adoption process. But now the main part of the process is done. In about a year I'll need to get an updated home study so I can get a second I-171H when the first one expires, because the total wait for a referral will probably be 2 years or so. So I'm in limbo now, and I'm trying really hard to see it as a nice break from thinking about baby stuff. Yes, I still have tasks to do like painting the baby's room and buying furniture, but there's no hurry. I'd rather open the door of that room and think "jeez, I really need to paint that," than see a finished nursery with no baby in it. I had enough of that with the room (now our guest room) we originally painted for the baby I never got pregnant with.
So soon it'll be a new year, with nothing baby-related to do all year long. No morning pee tests, no ovulation predictor, no social worker, no blood draws, no medical techs, no financial reporting, no notaries, no paperwork. What the hell am I going to do with myself?
